Gut Feelings

Edna told me as we were moving to Seattle she was terrified about running into an old boyfriend of hers. This guys was, once upon a time, a pretty big deal. She moved to Washington for him. She refers to their break up as "The Divorce." I don't know how long they dated, but needless to say it was a big deal. Finally one day when we were talking I asked her:

"What's the big deal? Are you afraid you'll still like him?"
"No! It's not that."
"What is it then?"
"I just don't want to have to deal with him. I don't want to have to meet him, or see him, or make the awkward small talk. Ug. My stomach is sick just thinking about it."

We went back to whatever it was we were doing, but I won't lie, I still did not feel totally enlightened. Until one day walking to work...

I was walking to Starbucks, I had to open that day so it was probably around 4am or so, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw someone. This certain someone I had not dated particularly long but each time I drove by, through, around, or near her neighborhood I got tense. Very tense. The last thing I wanted was to see her. It's not even that we parted on particualrly bad terms (although to be fair, I wouldn't call them great terms). But I got naueated just thinking about the situation. And shit, now she was right there. Blatantly going home drunk with some guy, and I was looking right at them as they went into his apartment building.

After a few seconds of staring (good thing I didn't have my glasses on, right?) I figure out it wan't her. And probably weirded both of them out. A lot.

It was at that moment I knew. I understood, exactly what she was talking about. Every damn word of it. Oh and it was awful. It made me want to puke.

...

Very recently my nervousness and anxiety built up again. I was confronted with the very real notion that I might not have to see her just once, but repeatedly. And potentially frequently. My roommate Mercedes was good friends with her when we started seeing each other, a fact I had compeltely forgot about until after we signed out lease. I realized if we were to have parties in our new abode it was only inevitable she might grace our doorstep. Then our front room. Then our kitchen. Then every room in the house. Anxious, nauseated, terrified, none of these words even begin to express, my thoughts on this idea. I tried to play it cool arond Mercedes after the thought popped into my head. Finally one day when we were chatting online I couldn't take it any more:

mercedes: you and your acronyms
tcfs
too cool for school
me: actually if you want to be 337 it's 2c4s
hey I actually have a real question for you
mercedes: shoot
me: just so I'm prepared...what are the odds if we have a party or something [REDACTED] will show up.
mercedes: nada
me: WHEW
mercedes: she doesn't talk to anyone anymore
we've tried--we give up.
it's over!
me: I thought about that the otehr day and my stomach turned over
mercedes: hahah
me: Thank God
mercedes: no, i haven't seen her in at least a year
me: Oh my sweet Jesus, you have no idea teh weight that lifted off my shoulders
mercedes: hahahaha
me: Edna hates her
mercedes: i could see why
we're not really fans of her anymore
me: yeah.
what happened? 2c4s?
mercedes: i only really hang out with the girls in my class and younger
i'm calling you... about it
it's a funny story

I can't tell you the sense of relief I felt after reading the word "nada." Literally I breathed a huge sigh of relief and all my muscles relaxed. I don't know who will be happier, me or Edna.